Black Tot Day
On this tragic anniversary, we celebrate the rum ration. For over three centuries, beginning in YOLD 2821 (1655 CE), sailors in Her Majesty's Royal Navy were given a ration of rum each day. Over the years, the rum ration was mixed with water, halved and halved and halved again, split into morning and evening servings, but it survived. Then, in YOLD 3135, a few particularly hunchbrained malcontents got it into their heads that a sailor couldn't sailor with his rum ration flowing about in his innards, and wrote a letter to a politician. This letter kicked off a chain of events resulting in the rum ration being completely eliminated, and on 66 Confusion, YOLD 3166, the last rum ration was served. Some sailors wore black armbands to mark the occasion, mock funerals were held, and many sailors "buried" their last tot at sea.
To mark this occasion, get a nice dark bottle of some good blackstrap rum, mix it 4:1 with water (maybe with a bit of lime juice if you wanna be fancy), and drink it in solidarity!